I am about to embark on a big banner project for church. We are dedicating a new space for the children's area called Grace Place. And I am going to make the banner which will hang in the stairwell that goes down to Grace Place. It is fun to get back into some creative endeavors. I love to sew and quilt but my creative juices have just not been there lately and so I have not done much.
But today it is off to the fabric store for fabric and ribbons and braid and sequins and all sorts of stuff. I have this long weekend to get this done so it will be intense.
Dancing Baby Girl is not with us this weekend, she was with us last weekend. She and her parents are going to a luau put on by some long time friends of the family. They will camp out, meet all sorts of cousins and extended family and there will be a roast pig, etc. DBG's mom was pretty excited telling me about it and I am thrilled that they are doing this. DBG's mom is really starting to step out of her victim role and live again. She had been so depressed that just slogging through the basic daily routine was hard, but she is starting to blossom a little and is finding things to do with the kids, the library, the park, etc. She has even met some neighbors and is socializing a little. It makes me feel more optimistic about her finally being able to claim DBG and them making it as a family.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
College bound
I went to a party tonight to celebrate one of the only 3% of 18 year olds in foster care who is going on to college this year. C is going to a 4 year state school and we are so proud of her. She is feeling a little apprehensive, nervous, scared, excited, happy and sad, all at once but she really enjoyed her party.
I was asked to give the speech where I lauded C's achievements, but I also underlined that even though she was technically no longer placed with our agency as of Wednesday, we were all there for her whenever she needs us.
Not only were her current foster parents there, but two of her respite placements, her therapist, foster care specialist, head of the foster department and myself were all there to celebrate her reaching her goals. It really illustrated the concept of shared parenting. And each adult there made sure to let C know that they were there for her, giving e-mail addresses, cell phone #s, etc.
We are all proud of C, not only is she the first member of her family in any generation to finish high school, she is the only one she knows, who is not a professional carer of her, who has ever gone to college.
Her fps will take her down to college and get her settled in, then they will drive back down in 2 weeks and pick her up for the Labor Day holiday, only that time they will no longer be being reimbursed. They don't care, 2 weeks later they are picking her up again for their son's birthday party that she wants to come to. So C is getting a real clue that maybe we care about her as a person not just as a foster kid!
I was asked to give the speech where I lauded C's achievements, but I also underlined that even though she was technically no longer placed with our agency as of Wednesday, we were all there for her whenever she needs us.
Not only were her current foster parents there, but two of her respite placements, her therapist, foster care specialist, head of the foster department and myself were all there to celebrate her reaching her goals. It really illustrated the concept of shared parenting. And each adult there made sure to let C know that they were there for her, giving e-mail addresses, cell phone #s, etc.
We are all proud of C, not only is she the first member of her family in any generation to finish high school, she is the only one she knows, who is not a professional carer of her, who has ever gone to college.
Her fps will take her down to college and get her settled in, then they will drive back down in 2 weeks and pick her up for the Labor Day holiday, only that time they will no longer be being reimbursed. They don't care, 2 weeks later they are picking her up again for their son's birthday party that she wants to come to. So C is getting a real clue that maybe we care about her as a person not just as a foster kid!
Kendra's issues
I am so frustrated!! It is not even the second full week of school and Kendra's stomach issues have come roaring back. The poor kid spent the whole night in bathroom puking and she is still so nauseated and exhausted that it looks like she won't make it to school today, even tardy.
We have had so many diagnostic tests to try to determine what is wrong and the last specialist told me "it's not logical" in response to why her symptoms are so severe and do not respond to medication. They can't find anything to explain her hyper sensitive stomach and its inability to digest proteins properly, although they all agree that she has this problem. It is the the WHY and the WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT? that no one has any answers to.
So we are going back to the peds and then I am having her looked at by a psychiatrist (our family psychiatrist, doesn't everyone have a family psychiatrist? we are such a triangle hole family:-)) because the gastroenterologist said that antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds might help. I am clutching at straws right now and will look into every possibility. It is very stressful to have your child sick and not have any answers, to make matters worse we have been struggling with this since she was in utero, and still no answers.
We have had so many diagnostic tests to try to determine what is wrong and the last specialist told me "it's not logical" in response to why her symptoms are so severe and do not respond to medication. They can't find anything to explain her hyper sensitive stomach and its inability to digest proteins properly, although they all agree that she has this problem. It is the the WHY and the WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT? that no one has any answers to.
So we are going back to the peds and then I am having her looked at by a psychiatrist (our family psychiatrist, doesn't everyone have a family psychiatrist? we are such a triangle hole family:-)) because the gastroenterologist said that antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds might help. I am clutching at straws right now and will look into every possibility. It is very stressful to have your child sick and not have any answers, to make matters worse we have been struggling with this since she was in utero, and still no answers.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
2nd trip to the Fair
Just got back from our 2nd trip to the State Fair. This time it was just in and out for Kendra's performance. I still had to buy some German Roasted Nuts though, the one fair food I can't do without.
Well we are canning/freezing here, lots of tomatoes, at least a surprising amount form my little tiny garden. I only planted four plants and I must harvest 4-7 tomatoes a day and that has been going on for weeks now. I never have too many of the cherry tomatoes, again I only planted 4 plants, because even though there may be 50-70 to harvest, I eat most of them before I make it inside. So the kids are getting a little tired of tomato in everything, but I am not. I eat them like apples, warmed by the sun, yummm.
My onions seem to be doing okay, I have never planted onions before so I don't really know, but they look okay. The volunteer pumpkin plant has about 4 big pumpkins on the vine and several smaller ones. I am taking off new blooms now so that these ones can grow. And the herbs are also running riot and giving us lots of fresh taste for all the culinary creations that my DH loves to concoct.
I have all sorts of plans for a bigger garden next year, right now my plot is only 4 x 12, with actually 3x 10 of usable space, but I want to dig up more of the yard and put in potatoes and some strawberries next year. We will see how adventuresome I am feeling come Spring.
So many projects, so little time and energy.
Well we are canning/freezing here, lots of tomatoes, at least a surprising amount form my little tiny garden. I only planted four plants and I must harvest 4-7 tomatoes a day and that has been going on for weeks now. I never have too many of the cherry tomatoes, again I only planted 4 plants, because even though there may be 50-70 to harvest, I eat most of them before I make it inside. So the kids are getting a little tired of tomato in everything, but I am not. I eat them like apples, warmed by the sun, yummm.
My onions seem to be doing okay, I have never planted onions before so I don't really know, but they look okay. The volunteer pumpkin plant has about 4 big pumpkins on the vine and several smaller ones. I am taking off new blooms now so that these ones can grow. And the herbs are also running riot and giving us lots of fresh taste for all the culinary creations that my DH loves to concoct.
I have all sorts of plans for a bigger garden next year, right now my plot is only 4 x 12, with actually 3x 10 of usable space, but I want to dig up more of the yard and put in potatoes and some strawberries next year. We will see how adventuresome I am feeling come Spring.
So many projects, so little time and energy.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Fianally a non-frantic Saturday
Gosh it was nice to just sleep in this AM. Nowhere to rush off to, no children to carry to activities.
We didn't get in until late last night as we were at the State Fair, Kendra is performing there with her dance studio four times in the next 10 days. So we took the opportunity to go as a family and cruise the exhibits.
First we had to go see the bunnies, we have an incident that has gone down in family lore about bunnies at the State Fair, so each year we have to be nostalgic and go visit them.
When Kendra was about 7 or 8, really old enough to know better and behave better, we went to the State Fair and had a wonderful, but long and tiring day seeing all the exhibits, doing the midway, etc. One of the last places we went was to the small animal barn and there it happened.
Kendra decided that she had to have a bunny, she NEEDED a bunny and we had to buy one for her right then. It didn't help that the bunnies were actually for sale and some people were leaving with bunnies. No amount of rational explanation about not getting the bunny (allergies, homicidal to bunnies dog, etc) reached Kendra' s ears, instead she started to wind up and began screaming about getting a bunny. The end result of the whole thing was that DH had to hoist her on his shoulder and carry her back out through the fair screaming bloody murder. I kept waiting for the state police to intervene as she soon started yelling, "You're not my real Daddy, my real Daddy would get me a bunny" Of course what makes this all the more hilarious in retelling within the family is that Kendra is our birth daughter, she was just utilizing the lines of her adoptive sibs to try to get her way.
So, anyway, we had to go visit the bunnies and see every last one of them and retell our family story to ourselves. It made me wonder how weird that might really be that we remember with fond nostalgia the day Kendra had a screaming tantrum at the State Fair!?
We also got to see all the quilts, my personal favorite! I always get remotivated when I view the quilts. Maybe i will even clean my sewing room enough to do some work on my projects.
Had a pleasant time socializing while waiting for the dance performance and then we did the midway in the dark, the best time to do that as the lights and glitter are able to really disguise the kind of pathetic shabbiness of it all.
Now today I need to do little at home chores, some garden work, some canning, a little wash, you know the endless bu necessary tasks of family functioning.
We didn't get in until late last night as we were at the State Fair, Kendra is performing there with her dance studio four times in the next 10 days. So we took the opportunity to go as a family and cruise the exhibits.
First we had to go see the bunnies, we have an incident that has gone down in family lore about bunnies at the State Fair, so each year we have to be nostalgic and go visit them.
When Kendra was about 7 or 8, really old enough to know better and behave better, we went to the State Fair and had a wonderful, but long and tiring day seeing all the exhibits, doing the midway, etc. One of the last places we went was to the small animal barn and there it happened.
Kendra decided that she had to have a bunny, she NEEDED a bunny and we had to buy one for her right then. It didn't help that the bunnies were actually for sale and some people were leaving with bunnies. No amount of rational explanation about not getting the bunny (allergies, homicidal to bunnies dog, etc) reached Kendra' s ears, instead she started to wind up and began screaming about getting a bunny. The end result of the whole thing was that DH had to hoist her on his shoulder and carry her back out through the fair screaming bloody murder. I kept waiting for the state police to intervene as she soon started yelling, "You're not my real Daddy, my real Daddy would get me a bunny" Of course what makes this all the more hilarious in retelling within the family is that Kendra is our birth daughter, she was just utilizing the lines of her adoptive sibs to try to get her way.
So, anyway, we had to go visit the bunnies and see every last one of them and retell our family story to ourselves. It made me wonder how weird that might really be that we remember with fond nostalgia the day Kendra had a screaming tantrum at the State Fair!?
We also got to see all the quilts, my personal favorite! I always get remotivated when I view the quilts. Maybe i will even clean my sewing room enough to do some work on my projects.
Had a pleasant time socializing while waiting for the dance performance and then we did the midway in the dark, the best time to do that as the lights and glitter are able to really disguise the kind of pathetic shabbiness of it all.
Now today I need to do little at home chores, some garden work, some canning, a little wash, you know the endless bu necessary tasks of family functioning.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Well...time flies, I guess
I am having a difficult time balancing work, home responsibilities, and blogging. Sorry folks.
An update, the BIG lie I knew was out there, well it was that they used the new camera with out asking. I didn't know whether to laugh or not. My antennae is so tuned to these lies, but most of the ones from previous teens have included drugs, alcohol, inappropriate relations between the sexes, etc. And here my 15 year old is guilt racked because she borrowed her Dad's camera without permission and then put it back in the place she had found it, horrors!! We still had a talk about responsibility and truth telling but my heart wasn't into consequencing.
Had a Dancing Baby Girl Weekend last weekend and it was great. She was in tune with all of us, only had one or two typical kid meltdowns and we had no sneaky or malicious behavior.
But things are not so good on DBG's homefront, the parents are under a lot of financial stress and with Mom working extra shifts they have had to struggle for childcare for DBG. With some of her acting out behaviors that has been difficult. And so some of the parents' stress is being downshifted onto DBG and she is being characterized as "the problem". They are finding it hard to delight in her at all and that is only increasing her need to get attention anyway she can figure, usually the negative.
On another front school has started again and at least for the first two days it has gone well. I know we will continue to struggle with waking up. Kendra is not the most pleasant person in the early AM.
I am hoping to be more faithful here.
An update, the BIG lie I knew was out there, well it was that they used the new camera with out asking. I didn't know whether to laugh or not. My antennae is so tuned to these lies, but most of the ones from previous teens have included drugs, alcohol, inappropriate relations between the sexes, etc. And here my 15 year old is guilt racked because she borrowed her Dad's camera without permission and then put it back in the place she had found it, horrors!! We still had a talk about responsibility and truth telling but my heart wasn't into consequencing.
Had a Dancing Baby Girl Weekend last weekend and it was great. She was in tune with all of us, only had one or two typical kid meltdowns and we had no sneaky or malicious behavior.
But things are not so good on DBG's homefront, the parents are under a lot of financial stress and with Mom working extra shifts they have had to struggle for childcare for DBG. With some of her acting out behaviors that has been difficult. And so some of the parents' stress is being downshifted onto DBG and she is being characterized as "the problem". They are finding it hard to delight in her at all and that is only increasing her need to get attention anyway she can figure, usually the negative.
On another front school has started again and at least for the first two days it has gone well. I know we will continue to struggle with waking up. Kendra is not the most pleasant person in the early AM.
I am hoping to be more faithful here.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Lies and Secrets
You know that yucky feeling you get when you know you are being lied to, but you don't yet know what the lie actually is? Well throw in the fact that I was awakened at 3:20AM by my 15 yo daughter and friends as they came up out of the basement to go back upstairs to her room where I thought they were sleeping. Her explanation, they were taking pictures of each other.
Now, they love to do this when they get together, they take crazy pics and have a lot of fun. So at first I was like okay, just get to bed, its 3 AM dam*it! But the more i thought about it the less likely that scenario was. See our basement is currently the most, gross disgusting thing you have ever seen, we recently had water damage and everything is torn up, piled up and just nasty. There is no place down there where pics could be taken. So I am left to wonder, what exactly was going on.
I was so disturbed by the feeling of having been lied to that I actually got up off the couch (where I sleep when my reflux is bad, long story) and went downstairs, couldn't see any signs of illicit activity, couldn't smell anything illegal, maybe they were just taking pics. But I don't know, something doesn't feel right.
So I am going to ask to see the pictures when the sleeping beauties awaken.
I hate this yucky feeling, but I have learned to trust my mom "instincts" and last night my radar was really going off. It is weird though, this child and her friends are pretty high up there on the trust scale, but they are teenagers, so....
Now, they love to do this when they get together, they take crazy pics and have a lot of fun. So at first I was like okay, just get to bed, its 3 AM dam*it! But the more i thought about it the less likely that scenario was. See our basement is currently the most, gross disgusting thing you have ever seen, we recently had water damage and everything is torn up, piled up and just nasty. There is no place down there where pics could be taken. So I am left to wonder, what exactly was going on.
I was so disturbed by the feeling of having been lied to that I actually got up off the couch (where I sleep when my reflux is bad, long story) and went downstairs, couldn't see any signs of illicit activity, couldn't smell anything illegal, maybe they were just taking pics. But I don't know, something doesn't feel right.
So I am going to ask to see the pictures when the sleeping beauties awaken.
I hate this yucky feeling, but I have learned to trust my mom "instincts" and last night my radar was really going off. It is weird though, this child and her friends are pretty high up there on the trust scale, but they are teenagers, so....
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