Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Not a G or PG post, a bit raw sorry

I apologize ahead of time if this is a bit much reality, but it is what we are living with so here goes.

It's Annie, again, could you have guessed? She just called from her placement, first the good news, she made her level 3 which means she can be outside the house without staff, and I am supposed to feel good about this given her extensive history of really, really poor decision making, including repeatedly getting into cars with strangers who stop by and ask her if she wants to go party with them! Sorry, that was supposed to be the good news. And I am glad that she is working to gain more privileges, do I think she will choose well this time?, nooooooo..... But I am hoping and praying.

Then she tells me she got a job, had an interview and everything. Why isn't this the good news, you ask? Well, it is because she has a history of being inappropriate with younger children, not one who was charged with anything, because we intervened and got her sent to a specialized treatment program for young girls. I am beginning to think that we did not do anyone a favor by intervening so quickly and taking responsibility for our child so quickly as here she is an adult (well by the birth date anyway) without a record who is going to be working at the *&**( group care for elementary children). Now, she assures me she is not working directly with the children as she would have had to pass a drug screen and a criminal check for that, but is rather cleaning up. Still I worry because she will be where there are a lot of children and I do not trust that she will always act appropriately in relation to them, it is a huge temptation that she is putting in front of herself. I warned you it was raw!*

Third piece of "good" news, she doesn't have cancer. I was like what?!?!?! Apparently she had to be taken for a biopsy of her cervix as she had such bad genital warts and other STDS (again with the raw, sorry, sorry) that they were sure she had cancer. The blood tests indicated possibly cancerous conditions, but it was just a really bad bladder infection, and the biopsy was benign. Now I am glad that she doesn't have cancer, yes, I truly am, but I didn't even know about the biopsy so I am in such a state of shock I haven't gotten to the good news part of the story yet. I am still absorbing the STDs part.

Oh and to top it off, her last comment before her minutes ran out on her phone was that since she doesn't have cancer she doesn't have to worry about quitting smoking anymore. And I was speechless and left with a dead phone into which I mumbled, "but, but, but". It is so scary to deal with Annie and the way her mind works. I am sure that she thinks that since she doesn't have cancer she won't ever get it and so unprotected sex will not hurt her. ARGHH!!

*She had to go out and buy some work appropriate clothing since none of her tee shirts could be worn around little children given the slogans and impossibly low cleavage, etc. This is one of the areas that she is so inappropriate with, her clothes all have really graphically sexual messages or have booze and drug slogans, etc. I really worry that she will talk about this kind of stuff around children and that she will not clean up her language which is worse than a sailors'.


Torina said...

You don't ever have to apologize for being "raw" :) My daughter is "fond" of small children, too...we found that out when my son joined the family. I don't openly blog about it. It is a hard thing to deal with. We are at the beginning phase where we are deciding whether to put her in a treatment program or not. So far we are trying a specialized therapist. I hope your Annie stays safe...and you maintain your sanity :)

quilted family said...

thanks for the support. One of the best things I did was educate myself about the "abuse" or "Temptation" cycle and really be able to watch for trigger behaviors or the other behaviors that go along with attempts to be "too fond" of other children. It really opened my eyes to being aware of grooming and other issues and made it easier to keep people safe.
Good luck with yours. Beth