Monday, May 26, 2008

Reunificiation Blues

Family for Dancing Baby Girl is such a hard thing to determine. Here she is with her baby brother with whom she now lives with her birth mother and birth father. But she misses her big brother who was TPRed and is in the process of being adopted. And she doesn't want to live with her birth parents. She wants to live with her former foster family, that's us. She considers herself the little sister to Kendra and Bart and Douglas and the others, and she is bound and determined that I am her mother and DH is her dad.
When she visitis us she announces "I home now, I stay here at home." She goes around and touches the furniture, her bedroom, etc and announces this is mine. She declares her love to us in words and hugs and cuddles.
And when it is time to go home to her parents at the end of the weekend she pitches a huge fit and screams that she doesn't want to go to Mommy >>>'s house, she doesn't like her, etc.
So am I doing DBG any good by having her to my house almost every weekend at the birth mother's request? I just don't know. I love having her with me, I try to establish boundaries and really tried to taper off the visits to at least every other weekend, but Birthmom always pleads no babysitter, except the grandpa who is not ideal.
We go to the zoo, go to the pool, take walks, play games, fingerpaint, dress up, go grocery shopping, read books at bedtime. For me it is great and in each short weekend it is great for DBG also. But in the long run is it good for her? If I thought I was keeping her from bonding time with her birth mother I would be very reluctant to take her, but birthmom works Sat. and doesn't appear to do much with the kid except park her in front of the TV at other times. So.....what am I to do?
I am not sure what the right thing is here.

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