Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Texting but not Communicating

Yup, it's Annie again, messing with my mind and driving me crazy. I just do not know how to communicate with her, every attempt descends into her misinterpreting some carefully crafted response (crafted in an attempt to be totally non-threatening, judgemental, etc) and her responding with anger spewed forth in hateful language.

Here is the text session from last night:

Annie: Mom we need to talk cos I don't think (the placement) is buying me another laptop. (Her laptop apparently got misplaced while staff was moving her into a lock down facility after her last AWOL and subsequent self-harm and aggressive episode, although there is a lot of speculation that Annie took it and sold it for drugs)

Me: I will talk with (case manager) in the morning during business hours about it. I know u r frustrated. Do u want 2 talk when u have free minutes? (about 10 mins. from this exchange?)

Annie: Thanks a lot! B%$#*

Me: Okay we r not communicating well, do u want me 2 call u?

Annie: This is why I hate u, why I never want to come home, I want to stay here where at least some one cares about me. (inappropriate language edited)

Me: I ll call u

She refuses to pick up the phone the rest of the evening.

This is my life with Annie. Every effort to meet her needs, to help her in any way even when she requests the help is rejected. She lives in a world where everyone is against her, where my non-threatening, non-judgemental responses are seen as negative. Rereading this I am not sure what happened. That is often how one feels when dealing with Annie.

The thing is the kid is smart, but she doesn't get really basic things. She can handle technology really well, she knows how to send pictures and exchange ring tones on her phone, but she doesn't seem to understand that these things cost extra on her prepaid plan and so she is constantly running out of minutes. And of course I am somehow to blame for this because I wouldn't sign her up for a contract phone. The fact that she has no job or money shouldn't stand in the way of her getting a contract phone now should it?

I spin in frustrated circles.

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